Ok, I’m having one of those very human moments. There is a pretty good battle going on inside this old head/heart of mine. Keep in mind. In this rant, I’m not talking about those souls that drift in and out of our lives in very natural ways. You’re very close to someone for a season and then life brings some battles and changes and before you know it, you haven’t seen them in 20+ years. That is natural and to be expected.
No, I’m talking about an explosion for whatever reason. A relationship suddenly and dramatically changes. What was once a close friend has evolved into something less.
Such is my position. I have no ill will towards this person. I’m trying to live according to this new set of expectations. Does that make sense? For example, you expect close friends to invite you to things or call to check on you, the kids, or whatever. You’re doing life together, right? That is a reasonable expectation for a “friend”.
Now, conversely, if someone tells you they care, love and respect your family but completely cut all communication (in spite of repeated attempts to re-establish) then I am to assume an expectation was not met. They were either hurt, angered or insulted to the degree they would rather end the relationship rather than work it out. It’s kind of like when folks leave a church, class or group because they didn’t like this or that. They would rather leave the relationships rather than deal with the conflict.
If that is the case. How do you demonstrate grace? I’m perfectly fine letting go of this relationship that caused hurt, disappointment and frustration in my own life. And since that time, I’ve been polite in my dealings with no real feeling or sense of obligation to restore the relationship. To my way of thinking, not everyone is going to be my best friend. It’s ok if you don’t want to be. I’m also fine if that person wants to reestablish a connection. I’m just not sure I want them to consider themself a “close friend”, if you know what I mean. Let’s set some ground rules. Let’s understand why feelings were hurt. Let’s deal with whatever created the conflict first.
So there it is. Debate your own willingness to forgive. Does it reflect scripture? Does the argument above reflect scripture? And by the way, I’m not going to answer it for you. Feel free to leave a thought or reference.